Drum roll, please. To herald my first poetry collaboration with a brilliant poet, Tanmay Philip, who lives halfway across the globe in India.
I am proud to present THE RISE OF PLASTROX: a tale of pollution, heroes, and the Lady of the Lake.
When he saw the monster slaver and drool.
The Rise of Plastrox: A Tale of Pollution, Heroes, and the Lady of the Lake
by
Tanmay Philip and Lesley Scoble
ONCE UPON A LAKE
Once upon a time, there was a lake—
Clear and clean,
Blue and serene.
It started with a bottle of Coke,
Then a can,
A plastic toy man,
Ice cream tubs
And wrappers,
Cigarette stubs,
Diapers,
A broken ceiling fan—
And even an old van.
THE BIRTH OF PLASTROX
From this pollution, Plastrox was born,
And the Lady of the Lake stopped singing her song.
THE COUNT BEGINS
What follows is an eyewitness account.
As all good tales, it begins with a count:
1, 2, 3… it bounces thrice.
Someone announced twice.
PLASTROX AWAKENS
Children skimmed their stones on the murky lake—
Big mistake, for Plastrox was now awake.
Fee fo fi… he spied with his big red eye:
Man-cubs, annoying… loud… vengeance was nigh!
“Look at them, throwing their stones at his roof!
Kids weren’t cute at all—and here was the proof.
Everyone might love them, but he didn’t care—
Plastrox the Malevolent was out of cheer.
Why didn’t they throw plastic instead and help him grow?
He was still missing a bit to form his little toe.”
GEORGE’S MISTAKE
The children were happy and free,
But shouldn’t have been there—
Believe me!
It was a big, big mistake
To play by the lake.
THE TOSS
Young George didn’t care
(He was only five—and would be lucky to get out of there alive).
George drank a lemonade and tossed the bottle in the air—
(His throw was good, considering he was so small).
He couldn’t care less where the plastic bottle would fall.
The bottle flew high and fast with the wind.
It landed with a splash
In the middle of the lake.
(Big mistake.)
PLASTROX RISES
Plastrox was now whole and complete.
He no longer needed to be discreet.
Plastrox rose high.
The lake began to churn.
Tumultuous waves swirled—
It was the Lady of the Lake’s turn.
She had been biding her time,
Waiting for Plastrox to rise—
To get him in one swoop…
Surprise!
PLASTROX SPEAKS
He glared as he rose,
With water in his nose.
’Twas horrific to see—
I think you’d agree.
He fumed, grumbled, spit and spat,
And yelled a massive, terrifying shout
While trying to dodge a waterspout.
“In the name of Plastrox and all my namesake—
Why did you do that?
Please, just give me a break.
Let’s have a nice chat.”
THE LADY RESPONDS
The Lady of the Lake appeared,
And the children on the banks cheered.
She stared at George, making him uncomfortable.
It dawned on him that he was in trouble.
“Why throw your rubbish in my beautiful lake?
See what you have done! Now go learn from your mistake.”
She shook her head in disappointment.
Plastrox couldn’t help but squint—
Was she ignoring the Great Malevolent?
TRASH TALK
“Your days are numbered,” Plastrox laughed. “3, 2, 1…
Just fight it out with me. It’ll soon be done.
What Lady of the Lake? This is my domain.
If you think this is water, you must be insane.
Lady of the Sludge is more like it.”
Plastrox liked to trash talk—a nasty habit.
GEORGE’S STAND
Young George trembled.
He was scared,
But drew up his courage
And glared.
He was small and alone
(His friends had scarpered—
Departed without a word).
Young George took aim with his sling and his stone.
He stood his ground,
Ready to take a shot.
The monster retorted in scorn:
“Ha! Is that all you’ve got?
Begone! Don’t be a fool—
Anyway, why aren’t you in school?”
RESCUE AND KNIGHTHOOD
Then, young George slipped and fell down the bank,
Fell into the water and sank.
The Lady of the Lake,
With a jump and a twirl,
Dived in the tumbling watery swirl—
All for young George’s sake.
She brought him to land
And held his small hand.
“Your sling is no good.
You need a sword of wood.
I can’t give you Excalibur,
Since it’s made of steel.
Y-calibur will do—
Now quickly kneel.
I dub thee, Sir George.”
A sword touched his shoulder.
It didn’t come with a sheath,
But George was bolder
Than Lancelot and King Arthur.
THE FINAL BATTLE
Young George rather wished he’d gone to school
When he saw the monster slaver and drool.
He drew himself up as tall as he could
To muster his courage
And fight where he stood—
To slay the villainous Plastrox, demon of sewage,
With his sword made of valour and magical wood.
Each swing of his sword
Turned Plastrox to dust.
He was a one-person recycling plant,
No matter how Plastrox huffed and puffed.
And so, a hero was born that day.
EPILOGUE
The Nemesis of ABS
Polyethylene’s Distress
The Oppressor of PVC
Sir George was well on his way to clean up the sea.
And every time George went out to play,
He’d pick up all the wrappers,
Single-use bags,
Detritus and fags,
And deal with other plastic matters.
Now he is a hero and nobody’s fool.
He might even choose
To go into school.
(Sometimes.)
Tanmay Philips and Lesley Scoble, May 2023
Tanmay, It was a lot of fun and an honour working with you on this tale. Thank you.
Visit Tanmay’s poetry blog here
Plastic Pollution
The Plastic Geological Epoch
The Pleistocene age was about 2.6 million years to about 11, 700 years ago. Glacial ice sheets covered the Earth’s surface. It is also when the Human species appeared (oh dear). The current epoch that we live in is called the Holocene. I reckon it is time to reclassify. What name shall our contemporary geological division have? I think we should update it, and rename it to PLASTOCENE (not to be confused with the putty modelling material called Plasticine, I played with as a child). The Age of Plastic The current Holocene/Plastocene geological epoch shall be known for the sheets of plastic that covered the Earth (artificial grass, per se). A stark comparison to the large ice sheets of the Pleistocene age. Instead of melting and leading to the evolution of mankind and diverse species in the Holocene age. It shall cause the reverse. A depleting biodiversity smothered by plastic detritus.
My Plastic Plague Photo Gallery
(If you have any photos that you would like to add to the gallery, please let me know)
Plastic Bottle on an Urban Pond | Photo©️Lesley Scoble 
Plastic Coke Bottle on a Lily Pond | Photo©️Lesley Scoble 
Once upon a time, sparrows sang in live suburban hedges | Photo: T. A. Moreno 
Keep your dog off the PLASTIC | Photo: Lesley Scoble 
No flowers, no birds, no insects, no bees, no trees. No life | Photo: Shit Lawns, Twitter
LesleyScoble.com 
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