I wrote my first abecedarian poem Instability Report to David’s W3 Poetry Prompt #200 where the Poet of the Week is Christine Bialczak

I’ve published two versions of my first attempt at an abecedarian poem. One follows the rules closely, while the other wanders from them a little.

Version B of my poem uses the constraint‑based form: a 26‑word abecedarian in which each word begins with a different letter of the alphabet, A through Z, used once and only once, in no fixed order.

Version A repeats the letters a, e, w, and m in a few places, which means it isn’t a pure abecedarian poem, though it was certainly shaped by the constraints of the form. I’ve published it because I prefer its strangeness to the more straightforward comic whimsy of Version B. I’ve enjoyed how the strictures of the form has pushed me to write a touch stranger than usual.

The image shows a humorous digital ink and watercolour cartoon sketch of three pink zits dancing by Lesley Scoble.
Pink Zits Dancing | Digital ink and watercolour©️Lesley Scoble

Narrated by me.

Instability Report Written and Narrated by Lesley Scoble

Here is the version that sticks to the abecedarian rules (I hope!). There’s no audio for Version B, and its title is Diagnostic Oddities.


THANK YOU
My thanks as always, to David Bogomolny, for hosting his inspirational poetry platform.
My thanks to Christine for her interesting abecedarian prompt.
And my thanks to you, dear reader, for spending time with me.


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68 responses to “Instability Report: Abecedarian poem (And Audio Narration)”

  1. I think you hit the nail straight on the head! Very clever and of course you know I love anything you read to me!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aw, Violet, you’re inordinately kind—thank you so much. 🙇‍♀️

      Liked by 1 person

  2. A is the poem.

    On the page it looks slightly unruly; in the mouth it comes alive. The rhythm carries it. The leaps feel intentional rather than random. “Geriatric / farmers’ / markets” working against “young knights / wearing white armours” is properly destabilising. That’s where the poem earns its title. It tilts perceptions and then tilts some more.

    Version B behaves. I can see the constraint working. I admire the engineering. But I can also hear compliance. It’s tidy. It completes the task. It doesn’t unsettle.

    A, by contrast, allows image to outrun explanation. That’s a surrealist instinct. When lungs become cocoons and pink zits dance in junkets, you’ve stepped out of diagnostic realism and into something freer and more disconcerting. Stay there. I dare you.

    The audio matters. Your phrasing, the micro-pauses, the lift on “nothing’s quite right, / alright” — that’s where the strangeness lands properly. You’re writing for the ear, not just the eye, and it comes through. I put a lot of weight on the delivery of sound myself. A poem that doesn’t survive exposure to air is half-built – at best.

    Anyway, welcome to Surrealists’ Corner where instability is the point and birdmen throw antimatter darts that morph into goldfish!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Dennis, may I say you’ve made my day with your generous and thoughtful comment. I’m so glad you understand how A simply wouldn’t let me change it. Your noticing of the surreal leaps, and of how the audio lets the strangeness land, means more than I can say. I feel very encouraged to stay in that unstable territory — and I’m honoured to be welcomed into Surrealists’ Corner, antimatter goldfish and all. Thank you for the dare — I do love a challenge.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Very light hearted! Poets following strict rules is about as successful as herding cats!!

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    1. 😁 Thank you, Muri! 😽

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Ha! Poems that develop their own instability enough to wander off on their own way. Methinks they have developed a denial of their original and declining life force. Am I right? Alright!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Haha! Thanks, Sean. I say you’re right. Alright! 😁

      Like

  5. You’re absolutely brilliant Lesley.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Sadje — you’re absolutely special.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re most welcome and very kind.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I feel so so chuffed by your compliment. 🤗🤗🤗

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      3. It is the truth my friend

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  6. I love how you are undaunted by the rules and produce two poems! And end-rhyme the strict rule-follower as well. Great to see where a prompt can take one’s thoughts and words.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, Marion. 🤗

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Brilliant take, Lesly.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you kindly, Indira 🤗

      Like

  8. I didn’t see any problem with either of them. But then I listened and sensed the agitation or hesitation in the play of words and rhythm. I still think you nailed it with both of them.
    I love hearing you read Lesley.
    I pray the weekend was beautiful and restful.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you twice, Nigel. So glad you enjoyed both. Thanks for the compliment about my reading.
      I actually think, with your beautiful voice, you should do an audio book. Enjoyed a lovely weekend watching the footy. ⚽️ Thank you xx

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I would love to do an audio book. We will need access to a sound booth, at least.
        I tried to watch the united match while at work with no success. Caught up on highlights late last night. I think its gonna be a close run in for the Arsenal, but it would be nice to see em back on top after so many years.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I want a sound booth. You can get posh sound booths now for your garden (Great if you’ve got a garden).
        Football is so tense—I’m sure it can’t be good for you. 😄 Btw, I’m an Arsenal fan and go to as many matches as I can. 🤭

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I figured you were lol. And as much as I loved the old rivalry of Fergie and Wenger, I truly wanna see this very good arsenal team take the title. But city are making them sweat for it. They won’t get another chance Like this season.

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Arsenal! Arsenal! Arsenal! 💪
        I fear it’s all going to be decided in a final match between City and the Gunners. Tense.

        Liked by 1 person

      5. Mid April match, I wanna be home to watch. I am rooting for the gunners. United jave disappointed for so long. I refuse to get my hopes up, no matter how good they’ve looked the last 8 matches

        Liked by 1 person

      6. Maybe next season. As long as we get back to Champions League football, I will endure the pain.

        Liked by 1 person

      7. Yeah.. I see sound booths on amazon..and a genius kid at work said he could convert my closet for me if I wanted.

        Liked by 1 person

      8. Cupboards make great sound booths. Problem is—they’re full of stuff.
        A musician friend of mine has a great secret space that he uses—in a small flat he halved the size of a room. You wouldn’t know it was there. It’s like a priest hole.

        Liked by 1 person

      9. Huh.. That’s a great idea. I can make a space in my apartment just for that. I dont need anything fancy. Will do some cost analysis.

        Liked by 1 person

      10. 👌 perfecto. I’ll do the same. At the moment, I put my head in a box 😂 We get a lot of traffic sound. btw, just looked out to see the moon and it’s still sulking. The sky is clear but it’s hiding behind the tower and I’m going to bed. Goodnight fine friend.

        Liked by 1 person

      11. Night night, Lesley..ill try to take a pic with my phone in the morning if its clear.

        Liked by 1 person

      12. Yes do! I’d love to see it. And If I get up in the night—I’ll have another look for it. 🌝 Night night.

        Liked by 1 person

      13. I just checked..it won’t be visible from the UK due to time of day..midday for you guys.

        Like

      14. 🙁 What’s shining behind the tower then?

        Liked by 1 person

      15. Full moon. But not eclipse as yet.

        Liked by 1 person

      16. Ahhh, je comprends. The UK won’t see the eclipse. It’s only visible on your side of the world and in Australia

        Liked by 1 person

      17. Yip.. I hope that I don’t oversleep.

        Like

      18. And what was the round orb at the end of the street early evening…

        Liked by 1 person

      19. If you don’t hear from me again we’ve been captured by aliens.

        Liked by 1 person

      20. Lol… That’s the next breaking news.. you heard it from me first.

        Liked by 1 person

      21. That’s the conspiracy theory the last 40 yrs. When the war between Iran n US starts.. the next false flag is an alien invasion.

        Liked by 1 person

      22. And that won’t be pleasant. Beam me up Scottie.
        I look forward to your photo of the Blood moon. Bon soir mon ami.

        Liked by 1 person

      23. serve us right for sending signalling beacons into outer space telling every alien that we’re here…

        Liked by 1 person

  9. I just love the surreal nature of this piece Lesley and I like how the audio version trips off your tongue so eloquently 😃💞

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    1. Thank you so much, AJ. This means a lot. 🙏

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so kindly, Selma ☺️

      Liked by 1 person

      1. 🙇🏻‍♀️ always

        Like

  10. I loved both! Especially – gyrating pizzazz – some great word choice in both!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much, Heather! Delighted you enjoyed both 💓

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re welcome.

        Like

  11. Wonderful as always Lesley 😂💞

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    1. Thank you, Suzanne! 😄💖

      Like

  12. Lesley, I really like the line “lungs were cocoons.” It gives the whole poem a strange, vulnerable feeling to me.

    Both versions are fun, but the second one reads a bit tighter to me.

    ~David

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, David. I found working on this prompt quite complex. I agree the second poem is tighter—neater. But I’m grateful for the inspiration and surprised by the surreal alley the first one led me down. I think I managed to follow the strict rules of the abecedarian correctly in the second version. Amazing how the addition or removal of a few words can change a poem so radically.
      L xx

      Liked by 1 person

  13. hi, Lesley❣️

    Just wanna let you know that our W3, hosted by our beloved O’Nika this week, is live until tomorrow:

    W3 Prompt #201: Wea’ve Written Weekly

    Much love,
    David

    Like

  14. Hi Lesley, you did this challenge very well. I hope all is well with you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Robbie. Yes, all good here. Hope all is well with you too🤗

      Liked by 1 person

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