I wrote two endings to this poem and couldn’t decide which version to publish, so I’ve shared both.
Jack in the Woods
Fantasy version
Jack in the wood saw something odd Half-buried in mulch what looked like a rod Hey, what is this I’ve found — by God! Cold to touch — along its length his fingers slide With legs astride, he stretched his arms out wide And thumped the rod — thump, thump, thump The ground thumped back and made Jack jump! Fireworks sparked and boomed like thunder He gasped and feared he’d made a blunder Oh dear, oh dear, what have I here‽ The rod transformed into a spear Then Jack began to disappear… —Lesley Scoble, October 2026
Audio — Jack in the Wood 🎵
A fantasy
Jack in the Woods
Fairy tale pantomime version
The words are the same as the fantasy version except for the last line — which changes everything.
Jack in the wood saw something odd
Half-buried in mulch what looked like a rod
Hey, what is this I’ve found — by God!
Cold to touch — along its length his fingers slide
With legs astride, he stretched his arms out wide
And thumped the rod — thump, thump, thump
The ground thumped back and made Jack jump!
Fireworks sparked and boomed like thunder
He gasped and feared he’d made a blunder
Oh dear, oh dear, what have I here‽
The rod transformed into a spear
Then Jack turned into a fallow deer…
—Lesley Scoble, October 2026
Audio — Jack in the Woods 🎵
A pantomime song
It also sparked the beginnings of an idea for a panto script.
PANTO SCRIPT
Woodland musical number ends.
Enter a random woodland elf named RANDO. He sees and greets the FALLOW DEER.
Rando: Good morrow, dear fallow. How dost thou fair? You look sad.
Jack [aka Fallow Deer]: Eh? What is this? Am I going mad?
Rando: You should cheer up, my deer, and look after yourself.
Jack: Are you an elf?
(To be continued)
Note
By changing the final line from the ending, ‘Then Jack began to disappear…’, to ‘Then Jack turned into a fallow deer…’, the whole character of the piece changes. What began as a mysterious fantasy becomes a fairy-tale pantomime. I’m amazed at how a single line can transform the entire feeling of a poem. I hope you enjoy comparing both versions and their audio interpretations.
W3 Poetry Prompt #233
I wrote my poem Jack in the Woods in response to this week’s W3 Weekly Poetry Prompt #233, where the brilliant Punam Sharma is our most worthy Poet of the Week. To read her prompt that sparked both my poems and songs, please click on the details below.
Details for Punam’s prompt: Finders, keepers, plot twisters
Tell a little story in verse! Write a poem in three stanzas, with no more than 12 lines in total. Your stanzas can be different lengths.
- Stanza one: Introduce a character who finds something unusual or strange.
- Stanza two: Show what happens when your character uses what they’ve found.
- Stanza three: Bring the story to an unexpected realization.
Let your imagination lead you, and see where your character’s discovery takes them!
Thanks
My thanks to our gracious host, David and Poet of the Week, Punam for inspiring me.
And special thanks to you, the reader, for spending this time with me.
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