Now is the Time to Ban Joggers from Tranquil Walkways

I was feeling a little stressed – the pace and trials of work and living in the city was getting to me – so I reckoned a little stroll down by the river might do me good – calm me down a bit.


The refreshing breeze from the water was bringing me the scent of the ocean that was drifting along on the tide from the estuary far away down river, and filtering gently through my nose passing into my pollution wracked lungs. I breathe deeply while sauntering past a cormorant holding his wings spread out, standing still in a pose like a carved statue at the entrance of some grand mansion.


Some Clipper boats motor past taking high fee paying passengers to the different jetties of the Tower of London or the O2 Dome. I like boats. I watch the spume of their wake and the surging waves. I am starting to relax.


Suddenly, I hear panting and a huffing and puffing behind me.

‘What the heck is that!’ I wonder. ‘Is it a train?’

Before I can turn round, a whooshing whoosh whooshes by me and a great mass of runners streak past and skim by, within an inch of my life. I totter as the gust of air affected by this phenomenon of joggers churns and dispels around me.



The joggers are all large in stature (why are they so big?) and panting and sweating, and grunting, blowing and gasping, and have passed me with not an inch of space to spare between us.

Their bright Lycra outfits glaring at me.

Then they are gone.
‘My goodness’ I exclaim.
I resume my stroll feeling somewhat overwhelmed by all those large, healthy people rushing by. I watch gulls flying along above the water and then up and over a bridge.
I hear another train of huffing and puffing and panting behind me, and there are more Lycra clad joggers over-taking me dangerously close; then I see more joggers coming towards me at great speed
Whoosh! WHOOSH!
The whooshing breaks the sound barrier (possibly a slight exaggeration).
It is very disquieting to have quite so many joggers using the river path. They leave no room for quiet, slower activity – like walking for instance.
There are so many of them – why aren’t they all in their offices?

Why do people jog? Can anyone tell me? Is it fun?
None of them look like they are enjoying themselves. They obviously don’t see anything while they are doing it, or they might give poor defenceless strollers some leeway.

Joggers are on the increase. They are breeding in huge numbers. I’m not saying stop jogging – oh no, not that! As I am sure it is a healthy activity –   I’m just suggesting not to do it ‘en masse’ like a charge of rampaging marauders. Give a thought to the slower specimens of mankind who are out for a gentle stroll; and not to sweep past them in such a way as if they weren’t there and discarding them to the wind.


I’ve nothing against Lycra, don’t get me wrong. I like Lycra. In fact, it can appear rather attractive on some people (I could name a few I know :)) But, it should be worn at home where it belongs and not out in the streets frightening the horses (Or disturbing constitutional walks of small people).

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s